I celebrate myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belongs to me as good belongs to you.
~ from Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
The other day, I was called up to the first cashier to check out with my purchases. As I walked up, I noticed that the bright pink color of the shirt I was purchasing matched the background color of the hijab the young woman was wearing at the register, except hers was patterned with small white flowers. I smiled and said, "I see we like the same color."
Genuinely joyous, her face lit up, "Today is New Years Day for us." She explained that she was originally from Afghanistan, and it was 1396 by the Persian calendar. Slight in stature, she was radiant with beautiful dark skin and eyes and a tremendous smile, and she had clearly dressed well in celebration.
I asked her how she would celebrate. She shared that after work she had classes at the community college as she prepared to be a dentist, but she would join the celebration afterward. After the community prayed together, there would be food and more food and music and dancing.
I laughed and added, "Every holiday is about the food, isn't it? What will you eat?"
We were running out of time, but she did share the tradition of eating seven dried foods like dried nuts and fruit. I wish we had had more time to talk. She enjoyed sharing, and I enjoyed learning.
I have never appreciated more that conversation is about the other, taking the focus off of ourselves to really listen and learn from another. I have had more life changing conversations across cultures recently -- my ESL student from the Dominican Republic, the Mexican cook at the local diner, the Irish bagger at Trader Joe's. And, of course, what is a better conversation starter than food? It never fails me. Funny thing: we all eat.
When I take the time to see another, to hear another, to know another, I see another version of myself. We share atoms and DNA and carbon and air and water. Why should it be any harder to share conversation when we have the same fundamental human needs and desires? So, as I see it, these times call for extra measures of kindness as everyone has a story and everyone has something to learn. Who know what can bloom with a bit of humility, a measure of kindness, and an attentive listener?
By the way, if you want to learn a little bit about Persian cooking and Iran, you might read Maman's Homesick Pie: A Persian Heart in an American Kitchen by Donia Bijan which is on my bookshelf and includes recipes.
